The captains in my team were the best captain ever! I LOVE THEM! They really helped grow as a person and help me grow in my spiritual life. They are my role models. Everytime when i look at them there’s this smile that makes me smile back.  When they did the altar call, seeing all the people go up to the altar and surrendering to god and saying ”god i am here take me!” Seeing all the captains going up with them and hugging, praying with them really touched me a lot. A lot of people were bawling their eyes and i can tell that the tears are all happy tears, cause you can tell that they have answered the call that god called them to do. I didn’t cry i teared up, I didn’t go up to the altar call but i was reflecting on my relationship with god. At that moment when i started to tear up, my captain came up to me and asked if i was ok. I look at her and i said i was ok. I putted my head down and i teared up. My captain putted her hand on my back and that moment i really wanted to cry but i held it in. If someone gave me a hug that moment i would’ve cried! After a while seeing people standing up, i stood up and started worshiping. It was the best moment ever cause i the song they sang was I wont relent and lyrics was so meaningful. The lyrics said: 

Reflecting on this lyrics really help me realize that we god to be the flame upon my heart and asking him be the fire inside of me. I putted my hands up and really asking god to be the fire inside of me and renew me! I didn’t care what people thought but as long god knows how much i love him everything will be ok! 

At the very last song before we left, our whole team went out of our seats and huddled up and sang together. One of our captains Simon was saying how much he loves us and how much he wishes TC will be longer! I wanted to burst into tears and hug each and one of them! I MISS THEM TERRIBLY! We had a group hug in the end and that group  hug that will stay with me forever!

When seeing my captains do what they did I really want to be a captain because seeing how they can help a person faith in god grow just only in two days and how much they did to make the team good and awesome! I really want to help people come closer to god and see how much they grow in just two days.

Today has been a great day! Fun day at school. But once i got home listened to a voicemail everything changed. Its about how i did bad on my math dynastic test which i got 78 and i had to get 80 or higher. My mom heard if but she didnt really understand so after we came back home from dinner my sister listened to the voicemail and started like telling my and kinda spazzing at me. She told me wow the test must been easy how did u get 78 i told her it’s a dynastic test but she kept going on and on. Holding back my tears i was felt sad and really underpressured. In my head i was thinking wow how did u do that bad! Wow kelvin you’re so stupid. How did u get integers wrong!  The worst part was when my sister said when ever you go out to watch a movie with people you better ask me for permission before you go. I am serious.
When she said that I felt this chain raped around me and felt like i was trapped. This feeling felt terrible. The part that i didn’t really get was why didnt i get the my dynastic test back before she called. Seriously, i really wanted to know where i did bad instead of just telling me. My sister was like can i see your test paper i said i dont have it she didnt even give it back to us. I guess that means these past few month will be really stressed and going to feel a lot of pressure…

God, i really hope that you help me and give me strength and also wisdom. I have the three major course this semester and i really have to get a really good mark for it. In order to do this i guess i have to give up my times with friends and just work. But god, all i ask for is just take away my pressure and give me courage to face this. I really want to do well so my mom and sister knows that i really tried and i really deserve this mark. God, I pray that you really help me!:(

Amen.

But thinking back…do I really say the lords prayer with my heart? Do I say it because I have to? What does the lords prayer even mean?

My pastor preached about it before. Every sermon he would take two sentence inorder and preach about it.
But I wasnt even paying attention to it, and i just say the lords prayer like i normally do.

But today! A pastor came to our church and preached about the lords prayer. This sersom was actually really good. When she started preaching i asked myself, didnt my pastor preached it before? But as she kept talking it got really interesting. I learned alot today and everything she said really opened my heart and really touch me.

She read the lords prayer and she summarized each sentence and told us what it meant. She asked us, do you guys actually no how to pray. All of us wasnt confendent to say yes. So we said no. She told us about this story, its about one night she was tucking he grand-daughter to bed. Her name was Abby and she was 8 years old i think. So she ask Abby, Abby do u want to pray? Abby said no.
She asked why? Abby said cause I dont know how to. She said ” well why dont you pretend you were talking to god like you are talking on a telephone with your friends. Abby was like oh ok! So she picked up the phone and started talking to god.
When i heard this i was like wow! This was prettry amazing when she told us.

If i could use adjectives to discribe this school it would be fun, sad, happy, unforgettable.

This year made me notice alot of things around me changing.

Theres people that is so hard to get along with. But you just have to say to yourself. Mind your our business whatever they are doing just leave them, its their own fault if they ruin their own life.

Theres another people thats are flirts. Its really annoying how they just always want guys to go with them. But thinking back why should i care at the sametime. So with these kind of people just leave them.

I notice that every bad thing that happens in this school just leave it. Dont let yourself get you in to so many troubles.Whatever you do to people they would just hurt you back in return even though you dont mean it.

Asking myself if i miss this school. Well, answering this question. I would say kinda not really. The only thing that i would miss is my friends. Next year we might seperate ourselves into different groups and hang out with different people. This year i find that i am in between 2 groups the theres one groups that is like idk how to describe it, and the other group is the group that has special people inside it. Right now it is kinda having a tough time with these 2 groups i actually dont know which one is actually my really friend. They are all my friends but idk which one is actaully the friends that i rely on.Theres one group thats like the group i am hanging out right now. But like sometimes i actually cant talk to them. Like the topics that they talk about makes me kind feel like i am not part of them. They swear and stuff. I really cant stand people that swears. But then i ask myself again. Why should i be mad? As long as i dont copy them than its all good. But like if i go to the other group. Idk what they will think of me. I hate what is happening right now! I am really confused of what i am doing…

Leaving this school will be the best thing ever because i could leave all the bad things that happened and start a new life that is full of adventures. So i can make new friends and find the friends that i actually can rely on.

Its been a busy month, theres lots of things that have been pulling back to get close to you and having the time just to concentrate on you. God in these few weeks i have been doing devotions. Its is great but sometime i just forgot to do it. Sometimes i remember to do but i am just to tired to do it. God just please help me and let me focus on your words even though i am tired or like just doesnt want to do it.

I just went to Quebec and i had a great time. GOD!! I am sooo happy you listen to my prayers. I prayed for a good weather and you did listen to me and gave me good weather. You are so amazing your miracles are indescribable. God i know you do listen to peoples prayers. I know you are there for us when we need help. But not just when we help you are always there for us no matter what. God i love you.

I went to this amazing catholic church in Quebec called ” St. Anne.”  Even thought the inside looks really nice. But when you talk the first step into the church you  feel really unsecure. It feels like something is trying to pull you back. When i saw the thing inside, it just make my friends and i like feel were sinning in a way. God, i know we dont believe in catholic things but it kinda feels like we are trapped in a door inside. I saw many things inside but like i know that mary is jesus’s mother but i dont know about Anne so god just please help me find out the answer. I know the bible didnt say anything about Anne, Mary’s mother. I dont even know if she really exciste or not. Just please help me find a answer to it.

God, I school lots of thing change in Quebec and after Quebec. There are many thing happening and i feel really lost. I dont even know who to believe anymore. Lots of people are talking behind peoples back, even including me. God, just help me stop me from talking behind people back. I know its wrong. God i learn that what ever people do to you just leave it and dont make a big deal about it because in the end your the one thats going to suffer. So god, just give me a good month because it will be the last month before graduation and leaving this school. Just give me a good month so i can relax and spend a good month.

God i hope everything would be fine and just go our own seperate ways when we leave Coledale. Just let me forget about thing that have happened to you and just give me a new start. Spending in Coledale for 11 years was great! But sometime it sucks, but i know school is suppose to be like that. So good i thank you for give me a great year spending at Coledale and so just give a better day to end school and the last year of this school.

I am so happy i can finally talk to you god.

Just give a courage, wisdom and what ever i say let it be your words that come out of my mouth. Dont let me say and thing that is filthy and unclean.

Amen.

I know Tiffany feels boring listening to speeches and stuff but god just let her have a good night and enjoy herself becasue you are an awesome god.

God everyday when ever i go to school i acted really happy god but inside of me i am actually not. I see people change a lot god, from last year to this year. This year i see people true personality and how they act. God this year lots of friendship has been broken and tore apart. Now god people separated into different groups. God, in these groups there are many hatred and darkness inside. So god please help me and face against this. Let it be light up with your light so it can be a happy place to be.

God even i really don’t like my teacher. She is really mean and stuff. So god just please help me and face against this. And just let me like everyone.

God just please help keep friendships not being broken anymore. It really hurt me that people do such things to other people. God i really want to help. But i just don’t know what to do so please just help me i need your love and courage inside of me. God just let me have a good year. Its my last year in Coledale so please help me. God i am really scared i really don’t know what to do know. I feel lost but i know that you are always with me no matter in what situation.

God you are an awesome god.

Today there are people trying to bully people god. I was there watching.  I really wanted to stop the thing god. But i didnt know what to do. Boys are really imature in our school i really wish they can follow you god. I know some people didnt grow up in a christian family or just to go to church. But god just tell them what the true meaning of loving one another is and treating people as the same as you treat yourself. God the guy that got bullied is named kevin, everyday he gets made fun because fo his body image god. The boys that always make fun of him never gets the meaning of body image they just like calling people fat.Well, god that guy is always really annoying god but just help him god. All my friends in my class can see that the boys always mess around with him, they never listen. I hope one day they can atually stop making fun of him.

God today i can see alot of people cursng other people. I know that it is one of the ten commandments. God some of my friend thats arent christian always swear. I hate listening to them swear but i just dont know how and what to say to them. They might just diss me and like swear back at me. God i dont know what to do. Just help me god. I really want people to stop cursing because it is just really mean.

God i always keep this in my prayers but i just dont know what i should do god. So just please help me god and tell me what to do. Let me spread your gosples and tell people god.Please just help all of us.

PRAISE GOD!!

God i just really want to pray at school before eating lunch god. But i am scared. I would think that my friend would find really wierd god. But i really want to try god.So please god just help me.I really really want to pray so we or I can show non-christians people how we are like and what we do to worship you. But just help me and give me a courage so i can pray in front of you god. Give me some more faith god in you. I want to stand in front of you feeling shameful god. Your mercy sets us free god.

God just give me some courage same with my christian friends god. Let us set an example of praying in front of people god.Just give all of us courage god. I really want to tell people who we are your child god. But god i do put this in our prayers already god. So please god just give me a lot of courage god. PLEASE!!

I know prayers are really power thing god. People pray when we need help and want to seek for advise god. I know the you are our counselors god and you listen to our prayers no matter what god. So please let all of my christian friends do the same thing god. I really want to talk to them about if but i don’t know how god. So just give me the courage god thats all i ask for god.

THANKS GOD!!

I KNOW YOU LISTEN TO OUR PRAY!!

In jesus christ name we pray,

AMEN

God just put each and one of us in your hands because you are the father almighty that is perfect and solves problems and conflicts in our life. But god just tell people who you are and you are always there with them in each situation. So they can trust you god.

I really want to lift up the people who are doing 30 hour famine tomorrow because some people have badminton try outs (me,Clarissa,Jessica c.). So please help them and give us energy so we can make it in the team. So we can give glory and honor to you god. So please just help each and every one of us.

I our precious name we pray,

AMEN!!